More fun with spam – pseudo-spiritual edition

Got this gem today:

“Know thyself” is a universal dictum passed down the centuries from all sources of wisdom. As the 21st century dawns, it has become apparent authentic self-knowledge requires comprehension of various fields of research, not only the many schools of psychology, but fields as diverse as anthropology, linguistics, neurology, and yoga, as well as insights stimulated by quantum physics and empirical explorations of alternate states of consciousness. A balanced interweaving of these and other approaches to the mind, such as literature and art, facilitates an extensive grasp of our human predicament, which is indispensable for an individual’s inner growth. But covering all this requires years of full time research. How could one possibly go about such an endeavor when caught up with today’s pace of schooling and career? Is there a solution? What if someone were to spend half a century traveling the earth, accumulating such significant knowledge along with vast worldly experience, then skillfully condense it all into one book? Remarkably, this has been accomplished.

And apparently it has been accomplished without grokking that spammers suck.

Author, poet, artist, [name of narcissistic asshole redacted] set out forty years ago to pursue a life of Zorba the
Greek adventure merged with Socratic questioning of all knowledges, which developed into a spiritual quest of the most compelling sort. After four decades of hard road travel over half the earth, [this asshole] spent seven years condensing his accumulation of knowledge into one truly informative work, [asshole’s book title redacted]. This book is gradually being internationally recognized for it’s original approach to the ultimate questions concerning the human situation.

Such as: why do spammers suck? Oh wait… scratch that one…

[This shitty book] is a challenging, enriching journey, encompassing the evolution of consciousness, while skillfully weaving mysticism, theology, psychology, philosophy, quantum physics, neurology, music, art, into meaningful and relevant patterns of clarification, never losing sight of the central theme-the endeavor to realize bottom line truths concerning our place amid the wild wonder of it all, and [this asshole] accomplishes this without succumbing to New Age credulity or sterile scientific skepticism. Every person truly concerned with the essence of philosophical inquiry and spiritual growth should have a copy close at hand.

Bottom line truth of email: spam sucks. Spam heavy on the woo sucks marginally less than spam for penis pills, Nigerian scams, and pump-and-dump stock scams, but it still sucks. Somehow you’d think someone who had mastered this spiritual pursuit would have also learned that spamming is largely the province of scam artists.

On second thought, I think I’ve answered my own question. After all, it’s just the spiritual version of “get a bigger wang,” isn’t it?

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